Could you have been a contender? Photo: Shutterstock

Thursday 2nd April 2015

Fighting talk

What kind of negotiator are you?

Everybody has their own unique style of negotiation, and HR pros usually have a lot of chances to find out what works for them. How do you resolve conflicts? Stick? Carrot? A stick lovingly crafted into a carrot shape?

With the end of the financial year swinging in, you might have a few salary reviews on your schedule. You may even be fishing in your drawers for a Mr. Potato Head-style set of ‘angry eyes’ in preparation. Or, alternatively, preparing a barricade for your office door.

Do any of these negotiating styles sound familiar to you?

1) The Rock

You are the law. Those who enter into conflict with you soon regret it. You are an unstoppable juggernaut of correctness that crushes all beneath its stubborn wheels. You are right, and you aren’t about to let some weaselly compromise dilute the best course of action. You don’t recall the last time you lost an argument, because to your knowledge, you never have.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, they left on half salary and happy to have it.

2) The Contender

You can’t help yourself when it comes to arguments. If they flare up around you, you’re only too happy to get stuck in. Negotiating is a game in itself to you, and it’s no-holds barred. Winning is everything, and you don’t let facts get in the way of a good riposte. You’re as likely to win from your opponent relenting from exhaustion as by anything you’ve said. People kept telling you growing up that “you’d make a good lawyer”.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, they wished they hadn’t.

3) The KEWK — Kill ‘em with kindness

You’re a seasoned veteran of many negotiating campaigns. You know the best way to get what you want is the velvet glove, not the iron fist. Plump their ego, compliment their ideas, make every show of doing it their way — but end up with a solution that suits you. They walk away happy but slightly confused. The best negotiation is one where they end up arguing from your original point of view, and you gracefully acquiescing.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, they didn’t get it but they left feeling better anyway.

4) The Hammer

You won’t be drawn into arguments you don’t need to be in, and once you’re in, you’re not there for any longer than necessary. To save fuss and time, you usually have one big point, and will keep at it until the other party gives way on it. You aren’t interested in give-and-take. Either they let you hammer your nail, or they can come back when they’re ready to let you hammer your nail.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, you gave it to them but on the condition they finally stop wearing socks and sandals at work.

5) The Surfer

Whatever, man. Whether you were raised by pacifistic hippies or you learnt from experience, the easiest way is to go with the flow. People get on with you because of it, and you avoid all the stress. The negatives of any potential decision are smaller than those of having an uptight and defensive attitude. Maybe there’s something you’ll really stick your neck out for, but you don’t know what that is.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, you gave it to them plus a holiday to Hawaii.

6) The Ghost

A ghost hiding in a toilet yesterday. Photo: Shutterstock

You hate confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. You’re in a hurry to agree to whatever they want, just so they’ll leave you alone. You get nervous about impending discussions, and are as liable to fold as a shirt in a laundrette. If you get your way, it’s a win by omission.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, you hid in the bathroom until they went away.

7) The “King Solomon”

Fairness is your motivation. Everybody gets exactly what they deserve, nothing more and nothing less. You take into account every point of view and try and find the halfway point. There are no winners and losers in your negotiations, because it isn’t a competition.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, both of you left feeling slightly unsatisfied by the compromise you made.

8) The Calculator

What you want and what they want doesn’t matter — you deal in hard facts. Sob stories and wounded pride are water off a duck’s back for you. If the numbers don’t justify the position, then that’s the end of the story as far as you’re concerned. You’re happy when somebody comes armed with a spreadsheet and a cool head, so you can resolve the issue logically.

Example: The last time somebody tried to ask for a pay rise, they left with an encyclopaedic knowledge of wage calculation and a rise of 0.26%.

If none of those fit, then aren’t you a special little snowflake. But seriously, negotiating is a skill and not just a reflection of your personality. Here’s a good resource to get you started if you’re interested in negotiating techniques and styles.

About the author

Jerome Langford

Jerome is a graduate in Philosophy from St Andrews, who alternately spends time writing about HR and staring wistfully out of windows, thinking about life’s bigger questions: Why are we here? How much lunch is too much lunch? What do you mean exactly by ‘final warning’?