Could you be one of these no-nonsense personnel professionals? Image: Shutterstock

Friday 12th February 2016

How personnel are you?

Old or new school? Our quiz will be the judge

Just as Charles Dickens tried to eradicate child labour and Edward Jenner tried to eradicate Smallpox, so the HR authorities are trying to eradicate Personnel in all its known forms.

Which is fair enough, of course. Personnellism is an abomination right up there with poverty, pestilence, prejudice and Coldplay.

But hang on. Are you sure you don’t have any nasty legacy personnel habits that could see you dragged into the firing line?

Take our simple quiz to discover how much you’re an exemplary, modern HR practitioner – and how much you’re still in the shadow of the dreaded old school.

1. First things first. What’s the point of HR?

(a) To drive the enterprise forward

(b) To deliver key services such as recruitment and welfare

(c) To assign parking spaces and be an emergency source for tampons and safety pins

Image: Shutterstock

2. You need to hire someone. What do you do?

(a) Snapchat the Talent Acquisition guru on your Android then Broadbean an MPU to an optimised site with a high NORAS ranking

(b) Find a job spec and email it to the agency

(c) Phone the job centre and make sure there’s enough paper in the fax machine to cope with the CVs

3. What’s the most exciting project you’ve got on at the moment?

(a) Consulting with the global CFO in NYC on a new Reward framework

(b) Introducing a creative talent attraction campaign

(c) Writing your name on a stapler with some liquid paper

Image: Shutterstock
Image: Shutterstock

4. The CEO often puts her head round your door. Typically, what does she want?

(a) Advice

(b) Data

(c) To ask you to turn down your Michael Bolton LP

5. To your mind, which is the most important recent trend?

(a) The democratisation of leadership development

(b) The advent of the so-called ‘gig economy’

(c) The return of ballet pumps

6. What’s your go-to publication for inspiration?7. What do you most associate with cheese?

(a) Peter Cheese – the influential CEO of the CIPD

(b) Who Moved My Cheese? – the influential change management book by Spencer Johnson

(c) The fondue parties you go to with your friends from the WI

8. If your department had a slogan, what would it be?

(a) Making history

(b) Making a difference

(c) Making the tea

Image: Shutterstock

9. What do you think of when you hear the initials ‘BP’?

(a) Business Partners – it’s the part of the Ulrich model you admire the most

(b) Blood Pressure – you’ve been wrapped up in a wellbeing project recently and you’re considering how certain interventions might decrease anxiety

(c) Brad Pitt – you’ve got a picture of him glued onto the side of your Rolodex

10. Finally, a line manager expresses concern about his performance management capability. What do you recommend?

(a) The CIPD’s 2009 guide, Performance Management in Action

(b) Linda Ashdown’s Performance Management, part of the HR Fundamentals series

(c) Viagra

How you scored

Mostly A’s

Congratulations! You couldn’t be less personnelly if you tried. You probably read the Harvard Business Review over your Corn Flakes and have Peter Cheese on speed-dial. You are so awesome. We want to be you. Coffee sometime?

Mostly B’s

Not bad – you’ve certainly left most of the old personnel mindset behind. But you’re still a little parochial in your thinking. Try reading a top business publication, like Sun City, to broaden your horizons.

Mostly C’s

Bad news – you’re still proper personnel. You’re exactly the kind of person the CIPD wants to have taken out and shot. Hang on. You hear that knocking on the door? That’s Peter Cheese. He’s dressed up as the child-catcher. And your name’s right at the top of his list. Crumbs!

About the author

Andrew Baird

Andrew is the CEO of HRville. He is also Employer Brand Director of Blackbridge Communications, Editorial Director of Professionals in Law and an associate of The Smarty Train. Previously, he was the MD of TCS Advertising.