Vocation and vacation

Summer’s here, and summer days are drifting away to – uh! – those summer nights. But where are you going on holiday? And more pertinently, what does that choice of vacation say about you as a HR professional – and your career prospects? Our handy quiz reveals all.

1. What your ideal holiday?

a) Lying by the pool for a fortnight, sipping cocktails.

b) Trekking through South America, maybe taking in an Inca settlement or two.

c) Going to Ibiza with your mates and getting proper off your face.

d) Taking the wife to an adults-only hotel in the English countryside, where you meet up with like-minded individuals.

2. What item do you absolutely, positively have to take with you?

a) Sun cream.

b) A map and some mosquito repellent.

c) A whistle.

d) Car keys.

3. Who is your ideal holiday companion?

a) Julie from Accounts. You’ve been bezzie mates for ages.

b) Alejandro, a Peruvian guide who can help you negotiate the local customs in Madre de Dios.

c) Dave, Andy, Colin, Wayne, Dave, Stu, Rupes and Dave.

d) Sandra, 45, 36-24-36.

4. What would you like to eat on your holiday?

a) Paella.

b) Ceviche.

c) Chips.

d) Sandra, 45, 36-24-36.

5. What are you most likely to write on your holiday?

a) A postcard back to the office.

b) An essay on trends in Guatemalan employment law.

c) A four-letter word on Dave’s forehead after he’s passed out.

d) Your phone number on a bedroom mirror. In lipstick.

6. What will you listen to?

a) Robbie Williams.

b) The nose flute.

c) Daft Punk.

d) Barry White.

7. Which of these holiday snaps appeal to you most?

8. Finally, which souvenir are you most likely to bring back?

a) A cuddly donkey.

b) Some Chulucana pottery.

c) An Amnesia bath robe.

d) Chlamydia.

If you answered mostly…

A: You’re quite normal, if a bit dull. You have a solid career at a decent organisation, and there’s nothing you like more than going home to a ready-meal, a cheeky glass of Pinot and recordings of Pointless on Sky Plus. You will certainly reach manager level in your current firm. Or maybe you’ll do something really crazy and jack it in and start working as a recruitment consultant in Birmingham.

B: Look, just put down that copy of The Guardian and pay attention, will you? Sometimes you’re so smug, with your insistence on work-life balance and your suit hand-woven from recycled Ecuadorean Guinea-fowl feathers. You’ll definitely progress in your career though, landing your ideal role as HR Director to the Carbon-neutral Knitting Cooperative in Tower Hamlets.

C: What the heck are you doing going to Ibiza at your age? You’re nearly thirty now. Grow up and do something more mature, like brass rubbing in the Dordogne or elephant trekking in the Azores. It’s no wonder you’re still stuck in that payroll department, photocopying and fetching macchiatos for the clever kids.

D: Congratulations! You have exactly what it takes to be an HR Director at a multinational. Your tastes exactly coincide with 69% of FTSE 500 CEOs, most of whom you’ve probably already met, although you might not have recognized them with their masks on. Go you! AB

About the author

Andrew Baird

Andrew is the CEO of HRville. He is also Employer Brand Director of Blackbridge Communications, Editorial Director of Professionals in Law and an associate of The Smarty Train. Previously, he was the MD of TCS Advertising.