How flash is your office?

As a recent study pointed out, rubbish office design can significantly damage wellbeing and productivity. So far, so no-sh** Sherlock. But it got us thinking. How about a neat little quiz that helped you evaluate the quality of your working environment?

So, here you are. Don’t take it too seriously. Unless some of this really is the truth, in which case, PANIC.

1. How does your receptionist greet guests?

a. ‘Might I take your coat, arrange it on an onyx hanger and rest it in our outerwear humidor?’

b. ‘Would you care for an acai drink from our herbal mixologist?’

c. ‘Before you go any further, can I check your vaccination records?’

2. What might guests find on the coffee table in reception?

a. ‘The Lady’

b. ‘Wired’

c. Underwear

3. Who or what inspired the office’s interior design?

a. Osborne and Little

b. Conran and Partners

c. Steptoe and Son

4. Where do staff relieve themselves?

a. The cloakroom, where the marble aesthetic is softened by pot-pourri mixed daily from fresh roses

b. The comfort station, where unisex facilities are clustered around an original Philippe Starck hand wash fountain

c. The kitchenette

5. What type of cakes are usually found on the table at client meetings?

a. Chocolate

b. Eccles

c. Urinal

6. ‘There’s any number of them in our office, all desperate to get their teeth into new clients and immerse themselves in some fresh briefs.’ What are they?

a. Business Development Managers

b. Business Development Executives

c. Fleas

7. Which of the following artworks are you most likely to find in your office?

a.

b.

c.

8. ‘It’s everywhere you go. You can pick it up in any room at any time of day or night.’ What are we talking about?

a. Wi-Fi

b. Hi-fi

c. E. coli

How did you answer?

Mostly As

Hooray! You work in a genuinely lavish, well-equipped office. It’s probably JPMorgan, or somewhere else where they have a man who folds the end of the toilet paper into ‘V’ shapes.

Mostly Bs

Interesting. You probably work in a media boutique, where everybody is called ‘Nat’ and eats edamame beans round a big kitchen table every lunch time.

Mostly Cs

Sorry, but your office is an absolute hole. Probably time for you to move on, assuming the big Norovirus living under your desk doesn’t get you first. AB

About the author

Andrew Baird

Andrew is the CEO of HRville. He is also Employer Brand Director of Blackbridge Communications, Editorial Director of Professionals in Law and an associate of The Smarty Train. Previously, he was the MD of TCS Advertising.