Pester Esther: 'Necessary evil'

Q. Since I’ve been promoted, I’ve realised that my personal values aren’t consistent with those of senior executives in my company. (In particular, I don’t like the way they see people as little more than a necessary evil.) What can I do to change their values?

I was once in a similar situation. Experience taught me that people won’t change if they don’t want to, no matter how hard you try to persuade them.

When it comes to personal values, I have a golden rule: if something goes against my real core values, I walk away. This might sound harsh. But if your colleagues only see people as a necessary evil, do you really want to be their Human Resources advisor?

Before you give up though, try and win the confidence and ear of one or two on the senior team and get them on your side. Get to know them better and see if you can change their views from within. But if you can’t, don’t stay if doing so is making you feel bad about yourself.

Q. My colleague, with whom I share a pod, stinks of cigarettes. How can I make them smell a bit more fragrant?

I wonder if you’ve tried all the usual things people do when trying to avoid this difficult conversation. Things like spraying perfume as soon as they sit down, burning candles on your desk (if you’re allowed to), opening the windows or even putting a mask on?

Anyway, you’re better off having the conversation, and not dodging it. In private, tell them how you feel and how it is affecting you – maybe you find it really difficult to breathe when they’re near you. They might even thank you, if they don’t realise quite how smelly they’ve become.

You could suggest a few things they might want to try. Maybe put on a coat when they go for a cigarette, and store it somewhere away from you and the pod? Maybe they could always go to the bathroom after each cigarette, wash their hands and spray themselves with fragrance. Perhaps they actually want to give up, and you could advise them on where they can get support to quit.

Whatever you discuss though, conduct the conversation empathetically rather than with an accusatory tone. And if the upshot is that your colleague offers to move desks, that might not be the worst result.

Q. My boss insists that I ‘walk the floor’ at least every week. I hate doing this because it makes me self-conscious. Any tips?

Funny – I used to love doing this, because it gave me a real opportunity to find out how the business really worked. See it as an opportunity to discover what issues front-line staff are really facing, perhaps?

If you’re self-conscious then each week get a different person to walk the floor with you. Ask them to tell you what they think, what bothers them, and what ideas suggest themselves about improvements to the employee experience and to the wider business.

This way, you get to know more about each and over time you’ll win the hearts and minds of the individuals that escort you.

Your self-consciousness may be because you’re not really sure what people do, so you might want to try working a few hours in each department. I find this is invaluable in helping HR make practical workable policy changes, or working practice changes. Plus, by engaging with the workforce on a personal level they’ll be more readily open to change.

Q. Would it be really, really bad if I started sleeping with one of my suppliers? He’s a successful recruitment consultant, and we’re both single, but I’m worried about fallout. I don’t think there’s anything in my contract that prohibits it. Advice?

This depends on how good-looking he is.

Seriously, this is a real dilemma. You absolutely do need to check if there is anything in your contract about relationships. But you also need to consider the culture of the organisation: is this acceptable or frowned upon generally? Other considerations include: Would there ever be questions around favouritism, ethics or pricing?

It’s so hard when you are genuinely attracted to someone and hard decisions need to be made. The best course is ususally to speak to your boss, and warn them that you have/may have a relationship with someone that could constitute a conflict of interest.

If s/he isn’t that fussed, you might still want to consider sacrificing your ownership of the agency relationship or asking your friend to step aside in favour of another relationship manager.

Want to Pester Esther? Send your problems to editorial@hrville.co.uk

About the author

Esther O'Halloran

Esther runs an independent HR Consultancy offering business-savvy commercial skills, practical solutions and insights to senior leaders and HR teams. She has been Managing Director at Paul, and worked as an HR practitioner for organisations such as Jigsaw, EAT, Pret a Manger and SpaceNK. Esther is a Fellow Member of the CIPD and enjoys Extreme Baking in her spare time.