Snodgrass: 'Frozen' Special
Elsa, Anna and Kristoff bring their HR problems to Nigel
Dear Nigel,
I’ve realised that I’m much too dangerous to perform my duties as Queen, so have disappeared into voluntary exile. And oh, it’s so good to ‘let it go’ and express my real self at last! But do I need to worry about obligations back at the palace?
Elsa, The Ice Palace
Dear Elsa,
As I understand it, you left on the day of your coronation, and so were not in the role for a full month. (Had this been the case, a statutory minimum notice of one week would have applied). As it is, you should have left after a ‘reasonable’ notice period, which is often determined by the regularity with which one is paid. (Weekly? Monthly? Annual civil list payment?) My advice would be to write to yourself as head of state and resign from your role, and then reply to yourself agreeing a reasonable notice period. Incidentally, your inability to perform the new role because of your pre-existing condition arguably constitutes ‘misrepresentation’ on your CV. This is an offence under the Theft Act 1968, and as a consequence you might be legally required to sue yourself. In fact, all things considered, your behaviour has been reprehensible. ‘Let it go’, indeed. Had I been your line manager, I’d have let you go long ago.
Dear Nigel,
In fulfilling my duties as a Princess, I met a local ice trader and cajoled him into taking me on a dangerous journey in pursuit of my sister. We’d only just started on our journey when wolves attacked us and his sledge fell down a ravine and exploded in flames. Any advice?
Anna, North Mountain
Dear Anna,
As a Princess, and sister to the Queen, this is both a personal and an employment issue, and so might well prove to be a matter of professional negligence. My guess would be that – depending of course on the precise wording of the contract you hold with the palace – you will be expected to pay for the damage you caused to your colleague’s sledge. You might also be liable for his loss of earnings in the time that passes between now and your provision of a replacement of equal or superior value. That value might be higher than you suspect, given the sledge had apparently ‘just been lacquered’. Let’s hypothesise for a moment. (Do you want to build a straw man?) Under other circumstances, you might well have been able to pass liability onto the wolves. But given they are wild and therefore technically under the jurisdiction of the state, and you were the acting head of state at the time due to your sister’s dereliction of responsibility, you would only end up suing yourself.
Dear Nigel,
I’ve fallen in love with Anna of Arendelle, who has responded by making me the country’s ‘Official Ice Master’. (Apparently, this is a thing.) Nothing to worry about, right?
Kristoff, Arendelle
Dear Kristoff,
On the contrary, I wouldn’t touch this ‘job’ with a ten-foot ice pole. Unless Anna advertised the job openly, both of you are potentially guilty of indirect discrimination. (See the Equality and Human Rights Commission website for details.) Were I Anna, I would have made sure that Arendelle’s minority groups, such as trolls, had also been invited to apply for the position. Also, be wary of working with anyone with whom you have a romantic interest. That’s how the terrible business between Peter Pan and Tinkerbell started, and no one wants to revisit that particular tribunal.
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