Hmm. What rhymes with 'industrial rehabilitation'? Photo: Shutterstock

Tuesday 20th October 2015

A reason to rhyme

Could you be HR's poet laureate?

Given the surprising popularity of our recent foray into the murky world of HR and poetry, we’ve come to the conclusion that there must be an untapped vein of repressed poets hidden among the ranks of HR pros.

Perhaps it makes sense — being thrust into the mire of messy human relations probably gives you plenty of inspiration regarding the human condition. Or drives you into any kind of escapism you can get your hands on.

To-may-to tomato.

In order to tease out your latent poet-powers, we’re giving all you would be Wordsworths a chance to showcase your talent.

Free publicity! Tangentially work-related procrastination! We guarantee to publish your submission unless it’s truly filthy (our standards are also horrendously low, fear not), in which case we’ll probably frame it and put it up in the office anyway.

Here’s an excerpt from a poem written by the HR dept. at an Australian call centre, sent out to over 1,000 employees, to show what you’re up against:

Your style is delightful and we love to watch you shine

But it’s important to dress appropriately at any given time.

So dress for work and we’re sure that you will look divine,

And when you finish you can change and enjoy the sunshine!

The consequences of shabby clothing I really need to say,

Are as serious as Formals and enforced leave, without pay.

We hope this rhyme is clear enough to properly explain:

The dress code still applies at work in sunshine, snow and rain.

We reckon you can do better. Or at least less terrible.

Send all submissions to Deadline is 6th November 2015.

The only condition is that it must be related to HR — otherwise, anything goes.

About the author

Jerome Langford

Jerome is a graduate in Philosophy from St Andrews, who alternately spends time writing about HR and staring wistfully out of windows, thinking about life’s bigger questions: Why are we here? How much lunch is too much lunch? What do you mean exactly by ‘final warning’?