You've been in HR too long when...

Before giving the milkman his Christmas tip, you offer him some ‘constructive feedback’ on his performance last year.

You confuse speed-dating with group interviews.

One of your children catches a butterfly in the garden. Before you release it back into the wild, you whisper, “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.”

Every time you sleep with your partner, you ask for 360 degree feedback.

You avoid helping out with the school pantomime production of Snow White, in case any of the seven dwarves have a protected characteristic and you get in trouble.

You go to HR conferences because you think they’ll be ‘fun’. (Yep, seriously.)

You ask your children to put together a business case for an increase in their pocket money.

When watching The Apprentice you loudly point out, “He can’t really say they’re fired, because they’re not technically employed by him in the first place”, before smugly looking around the room for approval. (Nb. You do this at the end of EVERY EPISODE.)

You think Craig Revel Horwood and Len Goodman would get on far better with a bit of mediation.

You refuse to accept a wedding invitation unless you’ve been seated at the top table.

About the author

John Eccleston

John is a writer and editor who has written about HR and recruitment, among other topics, for as long as he can remember. If he's not at his keyboard, you'll probably find him in the kitchen, at a pub quiz, or buying more trainers.