Top Ten: Appreciation

Showing appreciation to your colleagues is a vital part of cultivating a pleasant work environment. Are you a manager looking for a thoughtful way to show gratitude to an employee? Or an intern looking for a tactful way to impress your boss? Fear not, for we’ve come up with a comprehensive collection of tips and tricks for when you want to let somebody know you’re thankful.

1. Leave a dead mouse or shrew under their desk in the morning. This lets them know they’ve been a valuable member of the team.

2. Hire gangsters to ambush them as they walk home before bursting out of an alley and saving them. They’ll think you’re willing to risk your life for them, and assume their performance at work is optimal.

3. Perform a traditional Aztec ritual of gratitude by heaping sheaves of maize on their desks and burning it. This is especially for employees with whom you have been on bad terms, and are wishing to show you are turning over a new leaf in your relationship.

4. Spend a day following them around and narrating their every action. This shows you’re taking an active interest in them.

5. Roll over and expose your belly to them in order to show submission.

6. Especially if they seem the shy type, insist that they come with you to your next Russian Roulette night. They’ll be thankful that you gave them a chance to live on the wild side.

7. Invite yourself to a family gathering of theirs. When they see you getting on with their relatives, they’ll be impressed and thankful that you’re sparing them the trouble.

8. Buy them a cute pet like a tarantula or a spitting cobra and release it in their office as a surprise gift.

9. Rub your head on their ankles in order to scent mark them. This can be a touching gesture as well as a practical way to mark your territory.

10. Challenge them to single combat. As per traditional chivalric code, this is a sign that you respect them as an equal, thus is especially useful for a manager wishing to show gratitude to an underling.

About the author

Jerome Langford

Jerome is a graduate in Philosophy from St Andrews, who alternately spends time writing about HR and staring wistfully out of windows, thinking about life’s bigger questions: Why are we here? How much lunch is too much lunch? What do you mean exactly by ‘final warning’?