Top Ten: Social Media

Maintaining a successful Social Media presence can be a real challenge, and requires constant attention. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort you put in, you aren’t reaping the rewards. Fortunately for you, we’ve compiled 10 excellent ways for you to get ahead in the forever changing world of Social Media.

1. Start a trend like the ALS ice bucket challenge. Something everybody can enjoy watching videos of, like hitting a beehive with a stick or drinking a bottle of ketchup. Pretend it’s for a good cause too, if that floats your boat.

2. Write all your tweets and status updates in capital letters. IT IS GUARANTEED TO GET YOU NOTICED.

3. Beg your Facebook friends repeatedly to share your business related posts. Just kidding – please stop doing that.

4. Kidnap an elite twitterati like Stephen Fry and force them to write nice things about you. That’s right Mr. Fry – our rebranding initiative is a big success.

5. People like to see your company engaging with questions and comments. Return the favour – if they have questions about your policies or products, it’s polite to question their relationship status, level of education, and size of social circle in return.

6. Have some personality! Nobody wants to see a corporate drone delivering manufactured responses. Unfortunately, wacky and comedic is overdone. We suggest a fresh approach: perhaps crippling low esteem or irrational anger? Really try taking criticism to heart.

7. Social Media isn’t just the big players like Facebook. There are a lot of potential outlets at your disposal. Posts on an old peoples’ home corkboard, forums for people who compulsively eat ice, unsettling anonymous letters posted to your neighbours.

8. Encourage your employees to be more social media savvy by intermittently shaming one of them by parading their most embarrassing photos around the office on big banners. If they didn’t want it to be shared, it wouldn’t have been put up for you to find it.

9. Only make one post per year. That way you can really ramp up the anticipation in the meanwhile. All the best artists barely have any creative output at all.

10. Employ a hypnotist as your Social Media Officer. They won’t remember where they live, but they’ll remember your top notch content. And to bark like dogs. What can we say — power corrupts. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Lastly, remember that like and follower count isn’t everything – loyalty is. Would your followers take a bullet for you? Ours would. And have. You’re forever in our hearts, Derek.

About the author

Jerome Langford

Jerome is a graduate in Philosophy from St Andrews, who alternately spends time writing about HR and staring wistfully out of windows, thinking about life’s bigger questions: Why are we here? How much lunch is too much lunch? What do you mean exactly by ‘final warning’?