HR vs... Lumberjacks
Which is better – the profession that axes dead wood, or lumberjacks?Most everyone who’s ever worked in an office, HR included, has spared a thought for escaping the rat run at least once.
Probably more than once, really. What various outdoorsy jobs they fantasise about is personal to each — tropical scuba instructor perhaps? Farmer? Park Ranger?
There may even be some who hanker after perhaps the most stereotypical of outdoor jobs — lumberjack. (And, presumably, lumberjill.)
But is it all it’s cracked up to be, living as a rugged individualist in the wilderness? We know they sleep all night and work all day, but what’s the real skinny on lumberjacking? And is it better than HR?
The only way to find out is through our rigorous scientific testing.
Workwear
Every day is casual Friday as a lumberjack: red-checkered flannel shirt, jeans and boots. Sadly not much variation on offer, but then you won’t have anybody around to judge you. There is also potential for crossdressing, if that’s your bag.
Another bonus is nobody will judge you if you carry around a large axe. Frankly, you’ll be weird if you don’t carry one around with you.
HR? Well, you’re a sharp dresser, but those heels/brogues are no way as comfortable as those boots and thick plaid socks.
HR 0 Lumberjack 1
Career Mobility
In the literal sense, of course, lumberjackery has the edge in that it requires moving from tree to tree, rather than the occasional flirt with a kettle away from your desk.
But more figuratively, what kind of progression does a lumberjack have? Head lumberjack? Felling director? Chief logging officer? Don’t kid yourself.
In this area HR can be relatively smug. More paths than a National Park and roles available in just about every type of company.
HR 1 Lumberjack 1
Health and Safety
On the one hand, sitting on your bum is apparently one of the developed world’s greatest killers. No worries about that for a lumberjack. Probably not a chair in 100 miles in any direction.
Plus, almost as soon as you don your lumberjack clothes you become inexplicably toned and fit. It’s a scientific fact.
The bad news for those who associate with lumber is that accidental death is worryingly frequent. In fact, it commonly ranks top or near top for most dangerous profession.
So you may not live to enjoy your forest-honed body before some tree exacts some arboretal vengeance, or worse, you have a run in with one of those horror movie saw machines they use.
In comparison, HR are masters of their own destiny, having control over much of their own health and safety protocols. In HR you’re looking at less health and more safety, essentially, which we think pegs it by a fraction.
HR 2 Lumberjack 1
Pay
Unless you accept payment in fresh air and pine cones, don’t expect anything special in the form of monetary compensation for cutting down nature’s bounty.
The median wage for a lumberjack is similar to most entry level HR roles, and doesn’t go much further than that. A senior HR position will be out-earning a senior lumberjack many, many times over.
HR 3 Lumberjack 1
Environment
While lumberjacks are chic, deforestation doesn’t get much cred on the street (coincidentally, always blamed on “loggers”, the lumberjack’s evil identical twin).
The truth is that you’ll be chainsawing your way through a whole lot of wood, and many people aren’t so keen on us doing that any more. They may criticise from wooden lecterns while reading from sheets of paper, but nonetheless.
Plus a lot of heavy machinery and trucks are somewhere in the mix. It’s not an eco friendly job, is the long and short of it.
HR is more environmentally ambivalent. No more wasteful than your average office job, and with more scope to bring in green policies. If your inner hippy demands it, HR can bring in recycling bins and cycling to work bonuses. And so:
HR 4 Lumberjack 1
Overall it looks like HR has felled lumberjack by quite a margin. Perhaps it wasn’t such a “great” outdoors after all. Never mind though, there’s always that professional tropical island caretaker job to hanker after.
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