Straight dope

Drugs. We’re all on something — caffeine, nicotine, ethanol, ibuprofen, dihydrogen monoxide. Some are fine in at work. Some are not fine at work. Some make you the life and soul of the party. Some make your soul leave your body to go partying.

No surprise, then, that most psychoactive drugs can have a big time impact on work performance and quality of life. One survey in 2012 revealed that over 50% of employers believed that drug use (not including booze) had an adverse impact on some of their employees at work.

Yet only 8% of those companies employed a drugs testing policy. The general reason for reluctance? Most companies felt like the negatives of testing outweighed the positives. Compulsory testing can seem like using a sledgehammer to knock in a nail.

Most companies prefer to take up the issue only if it becomes a problem. Signs of it becoming so range from increased workplace absences, a 1000 yard stare at all times, and talking non-stop about how great a film Trainspotting is.

Estimates from one drug screening provider suggests that 1 in 30 employees has drugs in their system at any one time. It doesn’t indicate whether this means residual traces that don’t impact mental state, but it sounds like enough to cause concern.

It’s best to nip problems in the bud, and even better to put a stop to something before it becomes a problem. One way to do that is to recognise the symptoms of drug use.

In the UK, the top 5 most commonly (ab)used illegal drugs in descending order are: marijuana, amphetamines, cocaine, ecstasy, and magic mushrooms. Can you spot the signs?

Marijuana

This one is child’s play. Drooping eyelids, bloodshot eyes, and everything the users says has a two second pause like a video struggling to buffer. Exaggerated slow movement and inappropriate laughter can also be giveaways.

Being consistently late in the mornings and forgetting/failing to keep deadlines may also indicate a problem with marijuana.

Amphetamines (Speed)

Most of the symptoms of amphetamine abuse fall well into the purview of normal behaviour. Irritability, flushed cheeks, increased alertness and upbeat mood. Also apparently “unrealistic ideas of personal ability and power”. So, pretty much everybody you work with, then.

For this, we need to dig deeper. Jaw clenching (known as bruxism) is one telltale sign. Over the longer term, rapid weight loss, plus fast breathing and heartbeat.

Your best bet to tell an amphetamine user is to notice a difference to their regular personality, although obviously that’s not always possible.

Cocaine

It’s not just 1980s Wall Street – cocaine is apparently the third most popular drug in the UK.

The effects are very similar to amphetamines, although more pronounced. Self-confidence, often expressed through constant chatter, is a big giveaway.

Constant sniffing and a runny nose is also an indication, although so is a common cold, so don’t jump the gun on that one.

The primary method of snorting cocaine is known medically as insufflation, which is an interesting word we thought you might like to know.

After an initial period of buzz, cocaine is notorious for a big “come down” wherein the user will feel under the weather, leading to a desire to take more. So a habitual user may have big mood swings during the day.

Ecstasy

Ecstasy causes body temperature rises, so unusual sweating is one particular clue. Like amphetamines, ecstasy also causes jaw clenching and and weight loss. Also, pupil dilation and heartfelt expressions about how much you love people.

But of course the real giveaways for ecstasy is an uncontrollable desire to dance to early 90s club numbers.

Magic Mushrooms

The chances of somebody being on mushrooms at work in any form is pretty small. However, the symptoms are hallucinations, possibly panic attacks, and emotional swings. Nausea and dilated pupils are also typical.

More likely, mushrooms will have been taken in an employee’s leisure time.

Signs that could be happening might be responding to criticism by claiming to live on a higher plane of existence, and an obvious sense of mysterious spiritual fulfilment. Also having flashbacks to previous trips is a known side-effect, long after the event.

About the author

Jerome Langford

Jerome is a graduate in Philosophy from St Andrews, who alternately spends time writing about HR and staring wistfully out of windows, thinking about life’s bigger questions: Why are we here? How much lunch is too much lunch? What do you mean exactly by ‘final warning’?