Pieces of cake
Bake Off's back. But which HR cake are you?On your marks. Get set. Bake!
That’s a phrase you may be hearing a lot of as we mark the return of the much loved Bake Off to our screens.
Of course, it brings with it a perennial concern: what kind of baked goods are you? A saccharine angel’s food cake? A cynical Sachertorte?
These are the kind of questions that keep us up at night.
Petit Four
Not just one, obviously. You’re all things to all people as you preside over employee relations crises, while still managing to smooth out compliance niggles like making a glossy ganache. Infinite different flavour possibilities (in this cake metaphor, flavours means skills. Duh.) mean you have a lot of weapons in your arsenal, ready to cater to any problem.
Apple Strudel
A perfectionist aware of the importance of getting every little thing just right. As you would expect from precision engineered German baking, there is a lot squeezed into a small package. Coming with a variety of different fillings, both tart and sweet, these cakes are experts in baking law.
They can also pair well with many drinks, from teas and coffees through to beers and wines. Or, they know the value of developing relationships with key stakeholders at all levels of the business.
Victoria Sponge
Not everyone can be a refined French patisserie product or an artisanal loaf. Reports, payrolls, schedules, and everything in between — somebody has to be on top of these things, and they are your bread and butter (pudding).
The older people get, the more they appreciate you. Damnit, sometimes the simple things in life are the best.
Croissant
Hard not to like, but with a narrow skillset (breakfast only). Rarely seen without a cup of coffee in the vicinity. Expected to deliver on specialities, whether that be interviews, training, or specific projects. Often expected to be on the move.
Works well alone, but works well too with almost any area of the workforce including jam, butter, cheese and ham, the four key business departments.
Fruitcake
Not necessarily insane, but a sweet icing exterior hides a dark and dense filling. Often soused in rum (and coke). Not to everyone’s taste, but a vital stalwart of cake-kind. Lasts forever, never goes off, and certainly dependable. A senior variety of HR cake taking tough decisions — who are the real cakes and who are merely biscuits? Who are too flaky? Who will crumble under the pressure?
Rumours abound that the last person who tried to guess the weight of the fruitcake was beaten to death by a single rock hard slice.
These are the numerate no-nonsense cakes, not some fluffy French poseurs. Willing to do the hard graft and get things done. It is their raisin d’etre.
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