Advice squad
Three tips that'll turn you into an admirable advice-giverAdvice. Sometimes it seems that working in HR, that’s what you spend most of your life giving, in one form or another. No, you shouldn’t get into an altercation with the photocopier. Yes, daily showering is often considered a basic politeness. Look, it isn’t bring your ferrets to work day, and I don’t even think that is a thing.
Like it or lump it, somebody has to try to remain the voice of reason. In a tireless war that suggests that ‘common’ sense is an inappropriate turn of phrase, it may sometimes feel like you’re just not getting through.
People ignore or misinterpret you. Some people listen for a little while, then fall back into old ways. Some even get angry at the mere suggestion that you could advise them about anything at all. Advising can be a hard, and often thankless task.
People may come to you, or you may go to them. Issues for advice stretch from the mundane and work-related to the deeply personal and embarrassing and can also encompass things such as coaching and mentoring. These are simply more involved and prolonged forms of advice, often focused around developing skills or guiding others through complicated transitions.
In a fit of happy irony, HRville has some advice for the advice givers. Take it as you will.
1) Tailor your approach
It hardly needs repeating that every person is different. Every person is an enigma for whom there is a right and a wrong way to offer advice. Giving advice can be a surprisingly complex and subtle art.
There are a number of variables to consider:
- Their personality, obviously
- The issue at hand – is it personal or work-related?
- Did they come to you, or did you come to them?
- Your relationship with that person
This is really a more refined version of asking: carrot or stick? Some people respond best to formal authority, others are more amenable to a casual chat over coffee. You might get better results for some if they feel company authority behind your advice, and for others a more ‘this comes from me’ approach will work more effectively.
In the end we can’t cover every kind of person or every style of giving advice, so you’ll have to use your judgement. Just remember that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of helpful manipulation for the greater good.
If a hundred compliments and making them think it was their idea all along is what it takes, that’s what it takes.
2) Don’t overstep yourself
There are numerous ways in which you can do this. Firstly, it isn’t always your place to offer advice. Do you really know enough about the situation to give proper, reasoned advice? It’s worse to give bad advice than no advice at all, so know your limitations.
In this regard too, don’t get tempted into offering advice on deeply personal issues. While you can obviously use discretion as to what is and isn’t appropriate, some things just aren’t in your purview.
Fallout from mental health and relationship troubles are your business, but rolling up your sleeves and sorting out the root causes aren’t. Jimmy will have to work out for himself that not everybody wants to hear about his skull collection.
Secondly, you won’t always be right, so don’t try to impose your will if they don’t seem too interested or get angry if they don’t follow your advice. In the end, you’re offering advice, not making an intervention.
Heed the sage words of Henry Ward Beecher: “The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right”.
3) Take pride, not credit
You may well be a veritable fountain of good advice. Flowers may spring up in your footsteps and you may leave everybody in your wake blissful and contented. So, shut up about it.
People will respect you a hundred times more for offering advice and silently approving than offering that same advice and congratulating yourself. It’s crass and it cheapens what you do.
You should never find yourself talking about times you were right and that they should listen to you again. They haven’t forgotten. Reminding them simply makes it look like you think you’re smarter than they are and that they should listen to you like a student to a teacher. Be cool. Good advice and respect go hand in hand.
Helping people is its own reward. Plus, it’s OK if you take credit as long as it’s only in your head. Who’s awesome? I’m awesome.
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