HR vs... Astronauts
Which is the better career – HR or space travel?This is the first instalment of our career battle royale. Our job satisfaction thunderdome. The rules are simple: two jobs enter, one job leaves.
For our inaugural week, HR is taking on both a sacred cow and the dreams of children everywhere: astronauts.
So nobody scrawls in crayon at primary school “Learning and Development Manager” when told to write what they want to be when they grow up. But since when do we trust kids about anything?
The only real way to see which job comes out on top is to apply rigorous scientific testing. By which we mean, arbitrary measures that we decide on.
Job Safety
As an HR pro, you’re possibly more aware than the average person when it comes to Health and Safety. So you mightn’t need us to tell you that being an Astronaut is a Health and Safety nightmare.
Oh sure, strapping yourself into a small metal box on top of enough explosives to level Tunbridge Wells sounds like a good idea. But a million things could go wrong — rocket science is hard.
When Timmy can’t figure out the sandwich toaster, people don’t say “For Christ’s sake Timmy, it’s not an exit interview.”
So even if you survive the initial “controlled explosion”, you get to sit in a metal box, centimetres away from a horrendous way to die for a few weeks or months, and the tiniest speck of flying space detritus could really put a permanent damper on your day.
At least back in the office, the worst you’re looking at are scalding cups of tea or treacherous stairs.
We think at a minimum, you have to be alive to enjoy your job (unless your job is haunting), so we think this one goes the way of HR.
HR 1 Astronaut 0
Co-Workers
Most people will run into people they don’t like in the course of a job. Usually it’s like living with a messy roommate — you do your best to live around them. HR is no exception. At the very least, there are always a few weapons in your arsenal you can use to minimise your contact.
Sadly for astronauts, you’re stuck in close proximity for months at a time. If you’re prone to cabin fever when somebody is around, tough luck buddy. The nearest exit is an airlock that leads to a bad time. So you have to grin and bear it or start watching some of those sci-fi horror movies for inspiration.
HR 2 Astronaut 0
Working Environment
This one is pretty variable. You could work in a shed or you could work at Google. But going on the average, you probably work in a standard sort of office. You’ve got greenery nearby, you can pop out for a coffee whenever, and your food doesn’t come in a freeze dried form. Toilets are simple things.
Astronauts live in cramped conditions, and it’s not much to look at. However, there’s no gravity, which looks pretty fun, you have a rather nice view from your window, and you get to brag to all your friends about where you work. So, no contest.
HR 2 Astronaut 1
Relationships with Supervisors
Ever feel like the people upstairs aren’t listening? That’s something astronauts don’t deal with. If you’ve got a problem, Houston is there for you. We all wish for that level of concern.
“Houston, I have a tummyache.” “Houston, I can’t find my phone.” Deep down we all want a Houston.
HR 2 Astronaut 2
Pay and Prospects
When it comes to pay, astronauts come out on top at first, vs entry-level HR. Both careers have progression, but in the end HR has the greatest scope for pay and promotion. Serious physical fitness requirements means life as an astronaut is a temporary gig. Most only go into space one time, or a handful of times at most.
Some go on to lucrative careers in aerospace, or return to the military. Others go off to do really odd things, like consulting for Disney. In general, though, there’s no guarantee of a job after you’re done as an astronaut (although you are probably qualified for a lot).
So to the disappointment of children everywhere:
HR 3 Astronaut 2
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