The Seven Ages of Manager
If women over 55 are the best at managing transformational change, what are other age profiles good for?A survey by PwC has found that women over 55 are the best suited to leading a company through transformative change. They diagnosed a chronic lack of leaders with attributes suited to the task, but found that women over 55 were the most likely to succeed at the challenge.
They were “more likely to be able to see situations from multiple perspectives, employ positive language and exercise power courageously” than men and women of other ages.
Cool, we thought. But it also got us thinking: what superpowers do other age groups have? No doubt men and women at different stages of life are at the height of their powers in some area or another.
Here’s a few ideas we had. No stereotypes were perpetuated in the making of this article.*
When you want things to stay exactly the way they are
Men over 75
They like nothing more than armchairs, The Daily Telegraph and slippers. Forget traditional retirement ages, if you really want the good times to keep on rolling without going off the rails, consider old geezers.
There’s nothing they hate more than change, and they’re more likely to nod off than institute radical policy adjustments. (Just don’t put them in charge of diversity.)
When you want to drive productivity
Under 10s
Kids know what’s up when it comes to hyperactivity, plus they are bubbling crockpots of ideas on how to enliven your day. You didn’t know your sofa would look better covered in sticky glitter, but that was just a lack of imagination on your part.
They would bring with them compulsory short nap times (proven to improve focus) and enforce break times to make really ugly fairy cakes and play hide and seek. The only downside is that the team building exercise will no longer be a weekend to Las Vegas, but a trip to Disneyland instead.
When you want to have a more caring, pleasant work environment
Women 18-25
The first thing to go was the “psychiatric institution” grade paint job. Then you blink and you’re suddenly working in a bucolic paradise that smells like lilacs and elderflowers. The whole place hums with morning person energy. The vending machine now only sells fruit, and every second room seems to be hosting a zumba session.
The microwave and toaster are missing and in its place a gold plated smoothie maker, plus a fridge stocked with vegetables, many of which you’ve never seen before. Everybody now talks their problems out and hugs each other. No empty space has escaped getting plastered by cutesy-wutesy pictures of kittens and puppies.
When you want to make big cutbacks
Men over 55
All those secret Gordon Gekko fantasies come to the fore. You may be forced to witness an overabundance of braces, scotch drinking and make a temporary exception to your no smoking rule, but tough times call for tough measures.
Leave DVDs of Wall Street on their desk and framed photos of Jack Welch on their office walls for inspiration and soon you’ll find half your workforce has disappeared overnight. Problem solved. If you’re extra lucky, they may even take care of themselves in a freak yachting accident.
When you want to make your office cool
Men 18-25
So you’re no Google. The coolest thing in the office is that one draughty window. No millenials are knocking at your door. Staff acne levels are at an historic low, but you’re worried about your talent pipeline. The person you appointed to look at improving your attraction capability hobbled off with a zimmerframe, muttering about “vim and vinegar” and chandeliers.
You need help. The only place to turn is to people with “it”, whatever “it” is. Possibly craft beer fountains and an on-site Lebanese bakery. Waterbeds instead of chairs. Mandatory sunglasses while working. Top hats and tailcoats. We swear they’re coming back.
When you want a no nonsense policy for the future
Women over 65
Little known fact: almost everybody is awful at almost everything. People aren’t just fallible creatures, they’re pretty much incompetents. It’s a miracle anybody gets anything done at all between browsing Facebook, disastrous relationship choices, and thinking about what’s for dinner.
Indeed, 86% of the world’s work is done by a small sliver of the population — women over 65. Efficient, unencumbered, take-no-bullshit — not much stands in their way except a weakness for tea and toddlers. There’s nobody better to plan your holiday, daily schedule, or even the future of your entire company.
* This is a lie
About the author
